Everything, please.

If Heidi were a person, and if she had a blog, it would be called Everything, please. Every day, she would post about all the nonsense she ate. For example, today's post would be:

This afternoon while my mom was in the shower, I leaned up against the kitchen counter and extended my go-go gadget arms. She has no idea. She is such a sucker. With my go-go gadget arms, I was able to secure myself a lovely snack of nine homemade banana nut muffins, cupcake tins included. For dessert, I ate the saran wrap covering the muffins. I decided against eating the Tupperware container holding the muffins. A lady must know when to say enough is enough. 

See how innocent I look? Humans are suckers.

Later, she took me for a walk. We walked through an old graveyard. I pooped in that graveyard. Then I ate a wood chip.